Bossing it: Jacinda Ardern
Jacinda Ardern: ‘Live to Lead’ Netflix (Jan 2023)
The Prime Minister of New Zealand is proud to be both empathetic, and strong.
In Live to Lead, the Netflix series featuring the stories of world leaders, Jacinda Ardern talks about the importance of kindness in leadership. She also stresses she is not afraid to be kind.
“We lose what we’re here for if we focus on being the strongest or most powerful person in the room”.
Whether in politics, education, business, the pecking order of an organisation generally mean some have more power, and more sway than others. But what if the ego is bigger than the cause? It’s an important point - don’t fall into the trap.
Power can feel good, a sense of importance, and leadership roles are hard sought for. Yet the message we can take from Jacinda’s point is to catch ourselves if decisions and actions are made more out of our position of power than of the people or business we are there on behalf of.
However Jacinda shows that humility, a big genuine smile and concern for others, could be the strongest reflection of power. With this power and the people that look up to me, I am going to be boldly kind, boldly gracious, a bold listener as opposed to dominant speaker - decisive, strong, certain at the same time.
Empathy for the people we impact
Empathy in leadership is something we’re still getting our heads round, you could argue. If we are too empathetic, do we lose the boundary, merge home and work a step too far, become so approachable the respect and mystery is dimmed?
Jacinda describes a need for “empathising with the circumstances of others, with the next generation that we are making decisions on behalf of”.
As a leader, but also as a member of a team, considering the person or people, when making decisions that will impact them should lead to greater satisfaction and harmony. It is, in theory, what we do, and the right thing to do, but as the acronym JFDI (just flipping* do it) implies, sometimes action needs to be taken, the pressure is on, is there time to take into account the people?
As a leader, and a woman in her forties, Jacinda can inspire us to challenge ourselves to speak up. To ask for more time if that is the case, to expose and warn of implications if we don’t.
If you were that person, no doubt you’d have supporters in the room. You could build a tribe, forming a tribe in any area of life “based on what we value - humanity, kindness and an innate sense of connection?” as Jacinda proposes.
“A boss has the title, a leader has the people” is a quote that comes to mind (thank you Pinterest). In our organisations, the bravest and boldest thing might be to stop and question - which might feel uncomfortable, but how many others are thinking the same in the room? If your challenge is based on the people impacted, you’re likely to ‘have the people’.
Barriers? Our confidence gap is one of the biggest
There are two key barriers holding women back in Jacinda’s view, one is innate sexism - related to the many roles women tend to shoulder. The second is internal, what she describes as the confidence gap.
Confidence! What do we do about this one? Women are more quick to look at our deficits says Jacinda, and whether voiced or kept to ourselves, it is surely something we best face into. Brave in itself, yeah I don’t feel all too confident a lot of the time - there you go, you said it, nothing bad happened.
“Sometimes we need to stop second guessing ourselves” Jacinda advises.
“There was 7 weeks to the election, I had no choice but to be myself” and aged 37, Jacinda went onto become the youngest female world leader.
Now aged 42, Jacinda has more evidence that being herself, kind, empathetic, AND strong can lead a country. Can win elections, lead through pandemic’s and change law’s.
Let’s remember that later in life, we have had the experience to find that we didn’t fall down, that we were capable all along. And when thing’s didn’t go to plan, so often they turned out better, at the very least we made crucial lessons. Community strengthens generations and if we can mentor and guide younger generations, we could turn the tide on the Confidence Gap. On fire at 40 could mean setting those on fire with self belief at all ages. Good for mental health, the economy, society.
Create a sense of security and a sense of hope
Jacinda shares that leaders need to ‘create a sense of security and a sense of hope’. New Zealanders have needed that in recent years having suffered a terrorism attack in 2019, the COVID pandemic beginning in 2020 and the economical impact of the lack of tourism.
It’s a tough ask but a necessary ambition for leaders. Feel safe and optimistic and you’re more likely to be your best self. To be happy. To speak up. Honesty is the best policy but being aware of the way you position the situation can give the reassurance of openness, even if there is an environment with many unknowns.
Let’s not pretend to be superhero’s, it’s the worst thing we can do
The most comfortable in themselves appear to be the most humble. There is no need to wear an armour. Easier said than done - the reason people might do this can link to a real or perceived threat to their position, or perhaps they have seen this approach role modelled by predecessors. Jacinda points out that trying to make your job or balancing work and home life, look easy is unhelpful - doesn’t that release the pressure? And as a leader, remember people are watching you. Being real could provide the greatest reassurance to those who witness it.
We have to carry on regardless
Jacinda is no walk over let’s be clear. She will be kind, empathetic, but also fierce, strong, tough - sticking up for herself, her people and country.
Visibly recoiling, Jacinda didn’t miss a beat when a journalist shot her a loaded sexist question in a busy press conference recently. “I wonder if Barack Obama and John Key were ever asked if they met simply because they were the same age and had things in common”. Smart, slick, graceful. We can all learn from this if we are being patronised or belittled. And move on. Jacinda points out she might stick up for herself “but I don’t hold on to grievance”.
She adds how important it is to ‘know when you don’t feel tough enough, know when you need to get out of those spaces’.
Humanity again, no one is a superhero, the wisest thing is to spot that moment, know yourself and when damage could be done. When deflated, weary, angry or disillusioned. Avoid the car crash.
Jacinda Arden
Where can we bring in some Jacinda in home or work:
Managing ourselves
Am I tough enough to be kind? Can I speak up even if it is against the majority in the room?
Is this my ego speaking? Double check behaviour is not driven by ego but instead what you are there to do
How is my confidence gap, and how am I managing it?
Do I need to step away to recharge? Let go of grievance
Leading others
Empathy for those people we impact, their circumstances in our day to day
How can you use the keys you have to create a sense of security and hope?
Instil other women with confidence, addressing the confidence gap through using your experience to instil self belief and to coach
By Hannah Maude
